My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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