I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize