i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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