dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
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