why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
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The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
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I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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