Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
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