the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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