I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize