Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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