you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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