I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
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My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
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