would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
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If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
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I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
My life is pants optional.
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