How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
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