I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
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you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
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