i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
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