She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Randomize