Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
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While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
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last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
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