I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
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