WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
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