She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
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Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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