Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize