Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Randomize