If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
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