If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
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