Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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