tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
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She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
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