i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize