$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
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