We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
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You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
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And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize