whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Another day, another engagement, another cat
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize