Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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