She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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