I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
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