I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
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