he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
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So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
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when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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