I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
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