After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Randomize