Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
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