I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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