I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
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