Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Randomize