DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
Can Purell be used as lube?
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drinking out of a sandbucket again
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Randomize