Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
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