Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
soo... how was my night?
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
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