apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
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Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
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so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
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