did you get engaged???
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
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