Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
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He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
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We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
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