Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize