Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Panties = found
that may or may not have been my penis.
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