I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
Randomize